The efforts that go into managing depression is an ongoing struggle, marked by a relentless onslaught of negative thoughts that seem to invade your mind without reprieve. Today, I found myself facing an especially formidable challenge as I attempted to adhere to my morning routine. The alarm clock had become my nemesis, and I surrendered to its seductive snooze button five times before mustering the energy to drag myself out of bed.
Start of Day
It’s essential to recognize that some days will inevitably unfold like this. As part of my journey towards recovery, I’m learning to embrace these moments and accept them as a natural part of the process. In spite of the sluggish start, I summoned the strength to make my bed and then take a refreshing shower, a small victory that served as a glimmer of hope amidst the gloom.
Later in the day, I embarked on a visit to an employment agency specializing in assisting newcomers like myself. They handed me an intake form, a symbolic step toward my future, and the next item on my to-do list. Completing this form and sending it back would be a tangible move towards regaining control over my life and managing depression.
As the day unfolded, I decided to try my luck with Uber, hoping to add some variety to my routine. However, fate had other plans, and it took an excruciatingly long two hours before I got a ride. It was one of those days when life seemed determined to test my patience and resilience. But being on that search is still better than spending my day in bed, so it was well worth it.
Despite the setbacks, I pushed forward with determination. A scheduled workout session with my trainer awaited me. With approximately 14 sessions remaining before I’m left to continue my fitness journey independently, my trainer and I took a cautious approach. Aware of my current situation, we started with a light workout, planning to gradually ramp up the intensity in the upcoming sessions. It’s a reminder that progress is a marathon, not a sprint, and that patience is key in my path to recovery.
Following the workout, I made a trip to Tim Hortons, where I indulged in a donut and continued reading “Reasons To Stay Alive.” I came across a passage that resonated deeply with me: “I soon discovered the art of talking in itself is a therapy. Where talk exists, so does hope.” It served as a powerful reminder of the importance of communication in healing.
As of now, I am indulging more in writing than talking. It has become my preferred means of expression, as verbal communication has become increasingly challenging. Words flow more freely onto the page, allowing me to articulate my thoughts and emotions with greater clarity. The act of writing, I’ve come to realize, is a therapeutic practice in itself in managing depression.
End of Day
For Dinner, I had some rice with chicken and I had to really force myself to eat despite of my ongoing low appetite. While I was praying tonight, I kept on asking for courage to deal with the current situation. I know I can’t it alone and I need that spiritual support to keep me going. I have not really experienced ease and calm with meditation but I thought to give it a try today after praying. It’s 10 minutes long and you can explore it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRxT9cOKiM8
That concludes today’s update on managing depression and the journey towards recovery. If you missed yesterday’s post, you can catch up here: https://reasonstolivefor.com/reasons-to-stay-alive-28-september-update/
Thank you for accompanying me on this path, and I look forward to sharing more insights and progress in the days ahead!