Navigating mental health challenges while being out of work doesn’t make the struggles any easier. Today, I went to return my company laptop to my former employer. I had built up an elaborate scenario in my mind, which caused me a lot of anxiety. I couldn’t sleep all night because of it. I played out various scenarios: my ex-colleagues approaching me to express sympathy, people inquiring about my future plans, and offers of assistance. Lastly, I imagined a walk of shame as I left the venue.
However, none of the above actually happened. It was a quick in-and-out process, barely taking 5 minutes. Surprisingly, nobody paid any attention, simply because I failed to realize that we’re all preoccupied with our own concerns and challenges. While my visit to the office felt like a significant event for me, for everyone else, it was just another ordinary day.
Rest of my day was as per usual. Did a little workout at home, sleeping tonight in workout clothes so I don’t have any excuses in the morning. I am also focusing on adding a Banana to my daily diet in an attempt to have some fruit intake.
Mental Health Challenges remain to be a major concern for me but I can admit each day is not as bad. Still a long way to go, the important reminder is I have done it before and I can do it again! While writing this post, I put on some background music which helps me think clearly and write better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3HJYkur4HY
You can see the last post here: https://reasonstolivefor.com/seeking-clarity-my-depression-journal-day-6-7/