I’m like a show case for the whole world to enjoy. See what a mess I’ve made of my life. See me suffer, see my helplessness. Hello to crippling depression, ever wonder why is it the way that it is?
I can’t hold basic conversations anymore, my generic response to everything is ‘hmmm’.
- Another one bites the dust
- Good man gone bad
- The one who couldn’t figure it out
- Always on the edge, a step away into a meltdown of tears
- Always not knowing what to say
Back in my home country, I at least had a room dedicated to me where i could shut off the world. That’s not the case anymore. I don’t have a ‘home’ anymore. I don’t know how to feel because I’ve never felt this way before. Going back is not an option.
I keep making deposits in my bank of bad days. There was a time when I’d make note in my bank of Good Days.
I keep thinking how much worse could it get and then it gets even worse.
Now i truly understand why it’s called crippling. I’m experiencing it 24/7, it’s my life now. And it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.
Day 33: https://reasonstolivefor.com/travel-to-usa-day-33-of-sadness/
