Crippling depression – Day 35 struggle

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I’m like a show case for the whole world to enjoy. See what a mess I’ve made of my life. See me suffer, see my helplessness. Hello to crippling depression, ever wonder why is it the way that it is?

I can’t hold basic conversations anymore, my generic response to everything is ‘hmmm’.

  • Another one bites the dust
  • Good man gone bad
  • The one who couldn’t figure it out
  • Always on the edge, a step away into a meltdown of tears
  • Always not knowing what to say
Crippling depression

Back in my home country, I at least had a room dedicated to me where i could shut off the world. That’s not the case anymore. I don’t have a ‘home’ anymore. I don’t know how to feel because I’ve never felt this way before. Going back is not an option.

I keep making deposits in my bank of bad days. There was a time when I’d make note in my bank of Good Days.

I keep thinking how much worse could it get and then it gets even worse.

Now i truly understand why it’s called crippling. I’m experiencing it 24/7, it’s my life now. And it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

Day 33: https://reasonstolivefor.com/travel-to-usa-day-33-of-sadness/

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