I’m like a show case for the whole world to enjoy. See what a mess I’ve made of my life. See me suffer, see my helplessness. Hello to crippling depression, ever wonder why is it the way that it is?
I can’t hold basic conversations anymore, my generic response to everything is ‘hmmm’.
- Another one bites the dust
- Good man gone bad
- The one who couldn’t figure it out
- Always on the edge, a step away into a meltdown of tears
- Always not knowing what to say
Back in my home country, I at least had a room dedicated to me where i could shut off the world. That’s not the case anymore. I don’t have a ‘home’ anymore. I don’t know how to feel because I’ve never felt this way before. Going back is not an option.
I keep making deposits in my bank of bad days. There was a time when I’d make note in my bank of Good Days.
I keep thinking how much worse could it get and then it gets even worse.
Now i truly understand why it’s called crippling. I’m experiencing it 24/7, it’s my life now. And it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.
Day 33: https://reasonstolivefor.com/travel-to-usa-day-33-of-sadness/
It has been a couple of months since you published this blog post, and I am curious about how you are currently coping with your depression. Have you noticed any improvements? Is it still the same? Please know that nobody wants to see you suffer, and we genuinely want the best for you.