{"id":6689,"date":"2023-10-27T06:19:50","date_gmt":"2023-10-27T06:19:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/?p=6689"},"modified":"2023-10-30T03:21:21","modified_gmt":"2023-10-30T03:21:21","slug":"crippling-depression-day-35","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/crippling-depression-day-35\/","title":{"rendered":"Crippling depression &#8211; Day 35 struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I&#8217;m like a show case for the whole world to enjoy. See what a mess I&#8217;ve made of my life. See me suffer, see my helplessness. Hello to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/crippling-depression-definition-symptoms-treatment-5119870\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/crippling-depression-definition-symptoms-treatment-5119870\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">crippling depression<\/a>, ever wonder why is it the way that it is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can&#8217;t hold basic conversations anymore, my generic response to everything is &#8216;hmmm&#8217;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Another one bites the dust<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Good man gone bad<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>The one who couldn&#8217;t figure it out<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Always on the edge, a step away into a meltdown of tears<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Always not knowing what to say<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"923\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-923x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Crippling depression\" class=\"wp-image-6718\" style=\"aspect-ratio:0.9013671875;width:359px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-923x1024.jpg 923w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-270x300.jpg 270w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-768x852.jpg 768w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-1384x1536.jpg 1384w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-1845x2048.jpg 1845w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-1920x2131.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-720x799.jpg 720w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-580x644.jpg 580w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_-320x355.jpg 320w, https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Crippling_.jpg 2029w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 923px) 100vw, 923px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Back in my home country, I at least had a room dedicated to me where i could shut off the world. That&#8217;s not the case anymore. I don&#8217;t have a &#8216;home&#8217; anymore. I don&#8217;t know how to feel because I&#8217;ve never felt this way before. Going back is not an option. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I keep making deposits in my bank of bad days. There was a time when I&#8217;d make note in my bank of Good Days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I keep thinking how much worse could it get and then it gets even worse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now i truly understand why it&#8217;s called crippling. I&#8217;m experiencing it 24\/7, it&#8217;s my life now. And it doesn&#8217;t seem to be ending anytime soon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Day 33: <a href=\"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/travel-to-usa-day-33-of-sadness\/\">https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/travel-to-usa-day-33-of-sadness\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Crippling depression: Why is it the way that it is<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[410],"tags":[414,118,275],"views":34,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6689"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6689"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6689\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6721,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6689\/revisions\/6721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reasonstolivefor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}