Hi everyone! I’m very excited to share with you this collaboration post on “How To Ask For Help” from me and my friend, and also a co-blogger, Elle of Elle’s Unpopular Opinions (https://ellesunpopularopinions.com/)
I really appreciate the fact that Elle reached out to me for this collaboration and we had a meaningful experience while writing on this topic. I’m very excited because this is our first-ever collaboration. I hope to collaborate with her again.
This is a very sensitive topic about How To Ask For Help. We hope that you read this throughout, especially if you are one of those who find it hard to reach out to other people.
We get that we all need some support in everything that we do. Support from our family, our friends, and our loved ones. But sometimes, even if we want to, we seem to forget or easily brush that feeling off; that need or urge to reach out to other people.
Today, Elle is going to be tackling some good reasons why people should ask for help. This will help you understand why asking for help benefits us, and I will share with you some easy ways that can help us in asking other people for help.
Here are some reasons why you should ask for help.
Shared sorrow is half a sorrow
Okay, have you heard of the Swedish proverb that says, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow”? It’s quite explanatory, and I believe it has so much power. Do you wonder why we always have that need to share with our closest friends our achievements and problems?
That’s because our sorrows decrease when we share or let it out. And knowing that we have other people who listen to what we’re saying makes us feel valued. More importantly, it helps lessen the burden that we feel. We should keep in mind that we can’t keep our sorrow all inside us. Humans are like kettles. When the heat is up, we should be able to breathe it out a bit.
It helps you moderate your feelings
For some people, it can be really hard to open up to others. They might think that asking for help means they’re pushing too hard with their intentions. They might think, “Oh maybe I’m just wasting your time,” or “I feel like my problems aren’t too important”. But the thing is, your feelings are ALWAYS important. And how you handle them is a crucial key to overcome that feeling. If you don’t ask for help, and you are having a hard time handling your feelings at the moment, this can be very unhealthy for you.
Asking for help gives you more insight
In addition, people might also think that talking about what’s going on with them is useless especially if they, too, don’t understand why they feel that way. Here’s a quick tip: Find out those people whom you trust.
It can be your parent, your closest friend, or it can be a professional. It helps when a different person analyzes your problem because they may be able to give you insights that you don’t currently see because you’re too overwhelmed with what you feel.
Helps you cope with your problems
Asking for help not only can give answers to your problem, but some people can also help you cope with it too. It’s two different things. Coping with the problem is different from solving it. You may have solved one small predicament but what if it happens again? What if this time, it’s twice as problematic as the first one?
There are people who can help you cope and can offer you ways on how to maintain that practice of coping. Our problems tend to make us vulnerable and weak, mentally, and emotionally. When stressed, it affects us physically too. We should be able to handle ourselves during those times and asking for help can give you many ways to cope.
Creates a special bond and relationship
Talking about your problems helps you give trust to people. It can be scary at first but it can also feel fulfilling once you’ve shared it with them. Doing so can also make you a trustworthy person and they can share with you their problems too.
It creates a bond and a strong relationship full of support and compassion with each other.
I just listened to this podcast of a ted talk by Heidi Grant where she talked about 4 ways on how to ask for help. Got some great insights that I thought would be nice to share and helpful for others.
1- Be very specific with what you need help with. This makes it clear for your helper with regard to what exactly you need help with.
*Example: I would like your advice on getting into medical school.
2- Avoid disclaimers/apologies/bribes. This makes your helper feel uncomfortable. Furthermore adding incentives in return of help makes it more like a transaction when reaching out to a friend or coworker for help.
*Example: I am sorry I have to ask you this or I hate bothering you but I need your help.
3- DO NOT ask for help over email or text. You probably think it is less awkward to ask for help over these mediums but guess what is even less awkward? Saying NO on email or text.
*Example: Some people even go to the extent of emailing a group of 10 people asking if ONE of them could help.
4- Follow up with the person who agrees to help you.
If I have no idea how my help facilitated you in getting what you wanted, how would I feel about it with regard to the time and effort spent in helping you.
*Example: This is why donor appeals are so effective. You get letters and pictures from the person or organization you helped which further encourages you to help others. Other ways to follow up include- Your advice helped me getting that big sale or your support really helped me during my dark times.
Conclusion on How To Ask For Help
I hope you guys learned from this post, Elle and I spent time thinking about what to share with you guys that can be very helpful and this is one topic that a lot of us seem to struggle with.
If you are someone who has constant thoughts that you are not good enough, read this post it might help you out: https://reasonstolivefor.com/i-am-not-good-enough/
Follow Elle on her social accounts:
Facebook page: facebook.com/Unpopularblogs0429
Twitter account: twitter.com/Unpopularblogs
You can email her at email@example.com for collaborations
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