I was living in peace, there came a storm, out of nowhere. It took everything away: my peace, my sleep and almost my life.
I tried putting back my pieces together and it seemed like it was doable. Not all was gone. The puzzle was confusing however. I kept going, I did not stop.
It seemed like the pieces were starting to get in place. And then came the hurricane. Knocking out my existence. This time it took everything I had. My peace, my sleep, my love, my purpose of existence. I had no hope left, I had no reasons to stay. I was devastated.
I had no hope to fix myself. I did not want to put back my pieces together. I kept asking myself what is the point afterall? Why bring myself together when ultimately I have to break? I stopped trying, I stopped living. And I started surviving. This was my rock bottom. This was my lowest. I was done for.
Atleast that’s what I thought. I screamed TIME OUT. I disappeared. I went hiding. I shut the doors. I mute the phone. I silenced myself. I kept questioning what’s the purpose? This is the part where I don’t remember what happened, but something did.
I started looking around for help, I was bored to death. I didn’t want to just survive. Maybe I wanted to live. But I did not know what to live for? Which is how this blog came into existence. It did not only give me reasons to live, but gave my readers hope as well.
I seeked help, I ate well, I took care, I knew things had to change. Change wasn’t to come overtime. The storm and the hurricane were due since long. Hence change would take long as well. I signed up for the long game this time. No shortcuts.
Slowly and gradually I started to crawl. And then walk. And then run. I think I’m running. But I don’t want to just run, I want to fly. Fly like never before.
One day while running a thought passed my mind, that among all the madness, I found my reasons to stay alive.
??this time it will be different???
New beginning???
Hopefully ??
Glad you’re fighting for you, and took the steps you needed to in the long run!
You’re right. Health and wellness are not quick things to change, but starting is half the battle. 🙂
Correct ?
Writing can help you make sense of the complexities of your mind. It can also help to keep the demons at bay.
True
That last line. ?
You amazing creature of God.
?
This is what it feels like for me. Things get bad, I don’t want help and then I make a change to get better. It takes a while each time because I find comfort in the bad times.
Yes ?