Here to give you lots of reasons to live

Month: February 2019

How To Save Yourself From Drowning

I know it sounds like a cliche. I know you have heard it a lot of times before. But let me just put it here one more time for the record that no one saves you. There, I said it. So let me go ahead and tell you how to save yourself from drowning in self doubt, depression and being stuck in a rut.

How To Save Yourself From Drowning
How To Save Yourself From Drowning

This is for me and everyone who has paused their lives, watching as the world goes, watching as people around progress, watching themselves age and waiting for a super hero to come for their rescue.

Newsflash: there is no super hero. So while you stay in the nest you created and keep feeling bad about it, life is constantly happening and the world is moving on.

No one has stopped just because you have stopped. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your friends, no one. So it is about time you accept your situation and move on.

I don’t care how bad you have it, I don’t care how unfair it is, I don’t care why it had to be you but it is bad, it is unfair and you have it. Until and unless you do not accept this reality and stay in your bubble, nothing is going to change.

Conclusion
Be there for yourself and that’s all that you’re ever going to need. Be your own hero, fight your battle, save yourself because no one saves you.

In another post of mine, I explain how we can save ourselves by being in a constant state of gratitude. You can read it here: https://reasonstolivefor.com/being-grateful-everyday/

Do let me know in comments below about a time when you saved yourself and how did you manage to do it?

Genuine Advice: How To Find Motivation When You Are Depressed

How To Find Motivation When You Are Depressed

During my darkest days my most common search term would be “How to find motivation when you are depressed” so finally when I started my own blog I thought it is a must that I write a piece on it.

The most difficult part is to motivate yourself to get out of bed, get dressed, put those running shoes on and head out to walk. But as I’m sitting here in a park while writing this post, let me tell you that it is totally worth it. The key is to make it and half the battle is won there. So a simple reminder to self “I am feeling like shit right now but I will feel much better once I am there” works well every time.

My every day routine comprises of four major areas and days where I tick off all four are the most ideal ones. These areas are:
1- Journaling: Basically visualizing how my day looks like. What personal and professional goals I aspire to achieve in that specific day and what is the strategy that I will implement to achieve it. The next I go back to the previous entry to see if I actually succeeded in the things I set my mind on to. The remaining ones get carried forward to the next day.

2- Waking up early in morning (aiming for 5 am): A great author by the name of Robin Sharma has written an entire book named the 5 am club where he talks about all the benefits of waking up early every morning. To summarize it he states that it is the only time in the entire day that people have for themselves. This is because during that time there are zero distractions and you can kick start your day while the world is still sleeping.

3- Reading: This serves as learning for me each and everyday. I am more interesting in reading books and articles on self help, development and growth.

4- Working out: I have talked about this in detail below, please keep reading.

I just finished a 3 km run in 30 minutes (I don’t know if that is good or bad for starters) and I loved the feeling of my heart beat faster each time that i paced up. That on top of my favorite song playing in the background was a real good feeling. Scientifically proved, running and sweating releases some feel good chemicals called endorphins and this entire activity acts as an anti-depressant (more information here). I can personally vouch for this because days when I work out or go for a run are my happy days when I am naturally feeling better.

So what is the point of documenting this down? Simple, this will serve as a reminder for me to come here again and more often the next time I don’t feel like coming, the next time I feel like it won’t be worth it. We all need reminders for ourselves that push us into action. Another thing that can push you into action is following the Mel Robbins 5 second rule. You can find all details about this rule here.

Conclusion
Everything aside, it is at least better than staying in bed and spending that time in pointless overthinking. Also, I had no idea of what I will be writing about next, the fresh air kind of motivated me to write. So that made it a win-win kind of situation. You also need to remind yourself of all that is good in life, head over here if you would like to see how I do it: https://reasonstolivefor.com/reminders-for-self-love/

Do share your feedback on this post and let me know what reminders would you like to give to yourself that can motivate you to head out. I would love to know about your take on “How to find motivation when you are depressed”

Confession : Can’t Sleep With Anxiety

The clock strikes midnight once again and here I am thinking well, I survived another day but I can’t sleep with anxiety. Although I do feel tired physically but the mind does not stop ticking.

can't sleep with anxiety 

I know when I’m up in the morning i will be questioning my existence- why am i still here? The thought of dragging myself through the day putting it’s weight on me. It is not like this is the first time it is happening; in fact, I am kind of getting used to nights like these. I would give up anything in the world just to get a good night’s rest but for now, I can’t sleep with anxiety.

Given the fact that I am not comfortable however this is the time when I am at peace with myself. When everyone is sleeping but I’m the only one who is up. It is the perfect time to question my existence. They say what happens when humans use 100% of their, this is what happens I guess.

Where did everything go wrong? What did I miss? What could I have done otherwise? How can I feel better? How do I make this stop? When will I finally be happy? Did it all crash at a sudden or were there episodes where I kept falling and ultimately hit the ground? All sorts of questions keep running in my mind. There are too many of questions without any answers.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I don’t think that holds true in my case because every time I fell, it was more difficult to get up again. And eventually the great fall came when I didn’t even bother standing up again. I am wondering what is even the point of it? The feeling is such that I do not have the energy to go over it once more. I can use a stop over, would be nice to put a short hold on this journey.

There comes a time when you say what’s even the point of trying? That point has come. I’ll just sit here, lie here, wait here as I see the world around me passing by. I will see friends moving on, lovers get married, colleagues climb the corporate ladder and relatives move abroad.

I’ll just keep wondering how great it would have been if i was moving along. But I haven’t moved in a while. This stopover, though it is a torture, at the same time it is sort of relaxing. It has made me numb to all emotions, I barely feel anything anymore.

In the end there are only questions and no clear answers. How long would i be stuck at this stopover? When is the next time that I will move? What is it (if anything) that will motivate me to make a move? Spent quite sometime trying to find my passion but I don’t think that is happening anytime soon.

Because it cannot go on like this. Not anymore. Really looking forward to the next stopover, but till then I must move. There is a great quote that I would love to share here:
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

It is very difficult to shift your focus towards positivity in such nights when you can’t sleep with anxiety, but here is something that might help: https://reasonstolivefor.com/reminders-for-self-love/
I am sending lots of love to everyone who can’t sleep with anxiety.

Also, I would love to know how do you all cope in such nights, do let me know in comments below 🙂

Intriguing Conversation with myself

Conversation with myself


Another practice that is remedial during tough times is to have a conversation with myself. The purpose of this practice is to remind myself of all the good things that have happened ever since I last gave up as a reminder to keep going.

There is a realization that came to me overtime but I am glad it did. I have realized that my best version is years away from now so instead of being sad over the fact that I have not reached where I wanted to, I am hopeful because I know for sure that the best version of me will come. It will happen, this is my faith. For this, I will have to put in a lot of effort, it won’t be easy but definitely worth it.

For instance it has been over an year since I had my last depressive episode so this is how my conversation with myself looks like:

Me then: It is over, I am done, I will not try anymore, Nothing works for me.
Me now: Easy there, if something is not working at this point in time, it does not mean nothing will ever work.

Me then: How is anything going to work out if I don’t leave my room and don’t do anything at all?
Me now: Like I said, this is how you feel at the moment; what if I tell you that not only will you leave your room, you will be on stage in a packed auditorium giving a motivational speech.

Me then:  Are you kidding me? I cannot imagine being in the audience let alone giving a speech on stage.
Me now: You will and it is going to be amazing and it will end up inspiring others. Not only this, you will make a support group as well which will help others to open up.

Me then: I have lost all my friends; I have literally nothing to look forward to.
Me now: Well you will meet some amazing people and befriend some of them; they still keep a check on you.

Me then: I will always be confused as to what I want to do in life and what makes me happy.
Me now: Just have a look at your blog, see how it gives hope to so many. I am sure this keeps you going and makes you happy!

Me then: Give me some sort of proof.
Me now: I cannot. Just keep going and stop imagining the worse out of everything. Good things will happen. Trust me. I will end this conversation on this amazing quote by one of your new friends- “Nothing lasts forever it will pass in a BLINK, you can change the world but only if you THINK”

Conversation with myself

I will conclude with the fact that our mind is very powerful and it believes in whatever we feed it with. If we keep beating our self up, pushing our self down with negativity then our mind will be convinced to push us further down and keep us there. But this works the other way as well, if we treat our self with kindness and practice positive self affirmation, our mind will finally give in and actually start to believe that we are awesome. That we can do amazing things in life only if we set our mind and heart onto it. Having a conversation with myself is one way that keeps my belief strong and keeps me going.

Here you can find some benefits of positive self talk: https://www.healthline.com/health/positive-self-talk#benefits-of-self–talk

Please share your feedback on this post in comments. Also, do share some positive self talk which you practice 🙂 

If you want to check out the next part of Conversation with myself head over to https://reasonstolivefor.com/talking-with-self

Reminders for self love 101

In a depressed state of mind, we are likely to imagine the worst out of every situation. It is in this time that we need to remind ourselves of the good times that we have had in the past or how we had overcome similar bad situations- what I call- Reminders for self love.


1- Depression is a bitch!

There is no doubt about this and you need to see it the same way in order to combat it. It tells you lies so the trick is to not start believing whatever it has to say. Step number one is acknowledging the fact that you have it and you need to combat it. Step number 2 is realizing that you are not alone in this battle.

2- Negative thoughts are clouds, your brain is the blue sky

Whenever you get a negative thought, think of it as a cloud which is passing by in the blue sky (which is your brain). Know that the sky CAN exist without clouds however there CANNOT be any clouds without the existence of a sky. Frame this in your mind and on your wall, it comes in handy.

3- Fail forward to success

Acknowledge that experiences, good or bad, always end up teaching us something. So in case you have had a very bad or unpleasant experience which you keep fretting about, regardless of how bad you feel about it, it did add some value and it did teach you a valuable lesson. You are a sum total of all your experiences, they make you who you are. There is only one person like you in this entire world and THAT is your power!

4- Why me?

It is difficult to ignore thoughts such as: I have such a privileged life, loving and supportive family and friends, a decent childhood and upbringing so how could I end up being depressed? On this I would like to say that depression does not discriminate. Hence there is no point overthinking that with everything and everyone around you being alright, how could you go wrong? Depression can hit anyone regardless of age, gender, race, upbringing or background. The only way out is to keep moving forward. May sound like a cliche but instead of saying why me, shout try me!

5- You are not alone

There are millions around the world suffering from depression or other mental illnesses. In fact it is said that every one in five individuals will go through depression at some point of their lives. So although you think that you’re the only who has it THIS bad. That is not true. There is always someone who will be better than you and someone who is worse so there is no point in comparing. Focus on yourself, this is your fight, your coping mechanism is unique to you, figure out what works for you and keep going.

Conclusion

Reminders for self love

It may seem like you do not want to try anymore, you want to keep on suffering, you want things to stay the way they are but none of this is true. If you did not want to get better or had you given up, you would not have been writing/reading this. This is something which you may not want to consciously admit but no one likes to isolate, no one wants to keep swimming in shit, no one wants to feel unworthy, no one wants to keep suffering. An acknowledgement of these facts will only make things easier for you. This is why reminders for self love are so important!

Please share your feedback on this post in comments. Also, do share some reminders for self love you give to yourselves 🙂

Link to part 2: https://reasonstolivefor.com/soft-reminders-pt-2/

Inspiring Reasons to Live For

Reasons to live

A message from me to my future self: Today you took the decision to write your first blog ever and I am so proud of you for writing down all the reasons to live for.

So what exactly is the purpose of this blog? Simple, it is an outlet for me to vent out about all the stuff that I would keep inside me, things that I don’t talk about which eventually end up choking me. However it is not going to be all about myself. The purpose is to share my experiences and learning in order to motivate anyone who reads it or simply make them feel good about themselves. 

A lot of it is going to be about something that is a big LIE. It is a SCAM

Many people have fallen prey to it (statistics say every 1 in 5). I classify it as a scam because no matter how many times it gets to you, it always tells the same lie which is that everything has gone to shit and it cannot get any more worse than it is. If you have not figured it out yet, I am talking about depression.

Today I came across something that really motivated me and I knew for a fact that there are a lot of others who have fallen into this trap. This was one of the major reasons to live for me so I can share this beautiful piece of information which would definitely comfort you. Here it goes:

“Even if you know that things have been bad before, and got better, you think ‘But this time- THIS TIME – things are NOT going to get better, because they can’t. But depression always runs out of energy, because however big it is, it is not bigger than time. And time reveals the lies depression tells. You DON’T GO MAD. You DON’T DIE. It takes days or weeks or months or years but you come out of it. Eventually you realize I am bigger than depression. I am the sky.

Depression is the cloud. And clouds drift on by. But I will probably forget that again, next time I fall into this deep pithole so I will leave this here to remind me. Depression lies. It is full of shit. Never- for one second – believe the crap it is trying to tell you. It is an illness, not a personality. It is NOT YOU. Exist behind it, above it, through it and watch it pass.”- Matt Haig
This is from his book Reasons to stay alive, more information here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25733573-reasons-to-stay-alive

I hope it gives you some reasons to live as well when you read this and motivates you to keep fighting the good fight. On that note I will end my first blog. Do give me feedback in comments on how I can improve and any other topics that I can write about in my upcoming blogs. Also, do share your experiences 🙂

NOTE: I initially made this post on Feb 13, 2019 and I am back here now on March 21, 2020. So much has changed over the year that I myself would not have believed it if I had not documented it. The point is mentioning this here is that if anyone who is going through something is reading, I just want to assure that although it may not seem like it right not but things will get better.

I am living proof that they will. Just take it one step at a time and don’t stress. It takes a lot of time and effort to pull yourself out of a rut. So if you have done it today or plan on doing it, just know that I am so so proud of you and I am rooting for you! May life give you all the many reasons to live for. Head over to this link for an update on how I am doing now: https://reasonstolivefor.com/long-post-but-worth-it/

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